THE COVER STORY P. 01
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CREATOR OF DEVINE COLOR AND COLOR BAGGAGE
Color taught me
that relationships, not people, change the world.
How does a Puerto Rican girl riding around in the back seat of her parents’ car end up in Oregon, selling paint out of the trunk of her car, navigating her way to the top of a patriarchal paint industry with her own rainbow of colors and transforming lives with a bucket of paint?
THE DISCOVERY P. 02
Introducing
BURP
INSTANT RELIEF FROM SHOULD-KNOW-BETTER MISERY WITHOUT SHAME OR BLAME
Should-Know-Better Conflict Misery
Sound familiar?
VENTING REHASHING REPEATING RETREATING
THE LANGUAGE OF PRIDE
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I would have never done that.
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I can’t imagine saying that.
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Who does that?
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Whatever, I don’t care.
THE LANGUAGE OF SHAME
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They know better than that.
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I can’t believe they did that.
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Clearly everyone else knows.
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They don't care.
Time To BURP!
CLEAR THE AIR. KNOW BETTER. CARE TOGETHER.
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Have you been rehashing the same SKBC, with friends or in therapy, for years?
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Are you hoping in time it will pass, like bad gas, but it never goes away?
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Does the misery instantly change the best version of yourself into the worst?
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Are you afraid to lose your shit, or a relationship, if you tell them what they need to know better?
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What if you could relieve your misery as fast as a burp, and speak what they need to know?
Feelings are
not needs
FEELINGS COME AND GO. NEEDS MUST BE MET.
A baby who has unmet needs expresses different feelings than a baby who has their needs met. Unmet needs cause miserable feelings.
We respond to a baby’s miserable feelings they can’t express with words by meeting their needs, and get on with life, because if we don’t they might die. This non-reciprocal care exchange goes on for years.
This is the reason we grow up expecting people can read our minds, know better, and care about what we need. Because we do.
We never learn or teach a child to express their unmet needs once they have the intellect, vocabulary, and language to communicate them. Instead we address feelings. Therefore when we grow up, we make others responsible for our miserable feelings, without ever addressing an unmet need, and the fear or anger that they don’t care.
We don’t shame or blame babies when they believe people should know better and care. Let's not do it to adults.
Let's prove everyday people care. Starting with ourselves.
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Afraid to face to those we are in conflict with for fear of exploding with our heads popping off, or crying and turning into puddle on the floor? ​
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A partner forgetting an anniversary...
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A co-worker talking over you in a meeting...
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A friend bailing on plans at the last minute...
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A neighbor not keeping up their yard...
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A sibling who gets away with everything...
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Others telling you get over it when you can't...
Stop losing yourself to guilt, blame, or regret...
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Stop pretending you don't care when you know you're a caring person
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Stop wishing you could have said or done something when you still can
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Stop letting others push the wrong buttons when you know the right ones
