Clear The Air Without
Blame or Shame
Don't let a Should-Know-Better moment become an internal conflict, an SKBC, that leaves you stuck with misery forever. I offer one conversation that works like a BURP, releasing the words you are wanting to say but hold back for fear of losing the argument, your shit, and a relationship or circumstance that matters, first, so you can share what you know, what you need, and care about, without blame or shame.
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The Misery of Should-Know-Better Moments
Sound familiar?
VENTING . REHASHING . REPEATING . RETREATING
The Language of Blame
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I would have never done that.
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I can’t imagine saying that.
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Who does that?
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Whatever, I don't care.
The Language of Shame
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They know better than that.
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I can’t believe they did that.
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Clearly everyone else knows.
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They don't care.
BURP is not therapy work. It’s agency work, to quickly release emotional reactions caused by Should-Know-Better moments in exchange for Care-In-Action conversations that meet fundamental needs for confidence and trust. Reclaim your confidence every time someone should know better and doesn't, making you believe they don't care. Making you react by saying you don't care.
Breathe, I got you.
The SKBC
WHEN THE MOMENT PASSES AND THE MISERY DOES NOT.
A Should-Know-Better moment becomes a Should-Know-Better Conflict, an SKBC. SKBC misery indigestion is somatic.
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Have you been rehashing the same SKBC, with friends or in therapy, for years?
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Are you hoping in time it will pass, like bad gas, but it never goes away?
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Does the misery instantly change the best version of yourself into the worst without you knowing it?
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What if you could, like a BURP, release the misery and be able to confidently tell them what you know, need, and care about without fear of being wrong, blame or shame?
Proof of Care
The reason 8 billion of us are here. When a baby has unmet needs, we respond to this alarm with care, because if we don't, they might die. This non-reciprocal care exchange is the reason we grow up expecting people to read our minds, care, and still be responsible for our upset feelings. This is why we believe people should know better, and care. And we do.
Why BURP?
"Being BURPED opened my heart and mind to THE question that became the segue into our healing as a family. And, for this, I'll be forever grateful..."
TWO YEARS OF RECKONING. ONE 90-MINUTE CONVERSATION. A mother of two adult children
How I came to BURP
Hello, I'm Gretchen
For over 30 years, I’ve had a 90-minute conversation with more than 4,000 people who thought they Should-Know-Better because they couldn’t pick a paint color. I helped them know what they need and trust themselves to confidently paint what they love, without blame or shame. It worked 99% of the time. Then I began to wonder if it would work without the bucket of paint. It did.
I CARE TEAM SALONS
When teams know together, not better, trust follows. I bring BURP to organizations to clear the air, without blame or shame.
BURP OFFERINGS
THE DAYLIGHT LIBRARY
The Research Behind BURP
Books and studies that back up what babies already know, ranked by how strong the proof is.
BURP TROVE
BURP PARLEZ SALON
Knowing From Root to Fruit
Care-In-Action
Practice
Navigate the world from a place of knowing, belonging, becoming, and baring your knowing.
90-Minute BURP Salons
Daily Exercises
I CARE Team Salons​​