LET'S TALK
Clear The Air. Know Together. Do Better.
Somebody should have known better.
And didn’t.
Now you’re replaying it, rehashing it, venting about it, or having the conversation over and over in your head without ever actually having it.
I call that Should-Know-Better Misery.
BURP is the conversation I have been studying, writing about, and practicing since 2008. It begins by helping us know what we are carrying ourselves before asking someone else to know it with us.
This talk explores what happens when we stop treating these moments like a prosecution and start treating them like an exploration.
Because when we know together, we do better.
Knowing From Root To Fruit.
We arrive curious, attracted to the world, dependent on care, and driven to know. Before we have language, other people have to know with us.
We belong before we become.
Then we grow up.
Somewhere along the way, many of us begin believing adulthood means we should already know. We stop asking. We hide what we don’t know.
We mistake independence for self-actualization and treat the top of the pyramid as something we are supposed to reach alone.
I don’t think that is how human development works.
Knowing: From Root to Fruit is the architecture beneath BURP: belonging, becoming, and bearing what we know—not as a ladder to climb, but as a living cycle we continue throughout adulthood.
The goal at the top is not a pot of gold.
It is the Golden Rule: the capacity to care for others as we care for ourselves, to create and collaborate beyond our biology, and to bear ideas, dreams, relationships, and work that could not exist without one another.
In that sense, this has become a kind of coming-of-age conversation for adults. Not about becoming someone else.
About continuing to become the human being we were born capable of being. The baby we were born to be.
TALK MENU
The Misery of “Should Know Better”
We all have at least one moment when somebody should have known better.
Sometimes we carry it for years.
This conversation explores the quiet misery created by what goes unsaid: the rehashing, venting, blame, shame, and conversations we have over and over in our heads instead of with each other.
What becomes possible when we stop assuming someone should already know—and start actually knowing together?
Clear the air. Know together. Do better. Without blame or shame.
Different Words Create Different Worlds
Feelings are not needs. Awareness is not understanding. Understanding is not knowing.
Words we treat as interchangeable can create entirely different realities.
This conversation explores language as one of the most powerful tools humans have for changing what happens between us—not by finding prettier words, but by knowing what we actually mean.
Different words create different worlds.
Knowing: It's a Baby-Proof World.
We arrive curious. We need to belong before we can become. Before we have words, other people have to know with us.
Then we grow up and somehow begin believing we should already know.
This conversation follows the larger developmental idea beneath my work: belonging, becoming, and bearing what we know—not as a ladder we climb alone, but as something we continue doing together throughout adulthood.
It asks what self-actualization might look like if the destination isn’t independence from one another, but the capacity to care, create, collaborate, and bear more than our biology.
Then below those three, I would keep the PSU section as your origin/proof:
Where Root To Fruit Conversations Began.
Color taught me that one conversation could change a room without changing the people or belongings inside it.
Eventually I began wondering what else a conversation could change.
I still speak about color, belonging, care, language, and what becomes possible when we know one another.
P.S.U. TALK
The Color Of Friendship
AUDIENCES
A good fit for:
Leaders • Entrepreneurs • Designers • Educators • Creatives • Caregivers • Community Builders • Teams • Organizations • Conferences
And anyone interested in what happens when we stop assuming people should already know—and start knowing together.
Available for:
-
Keynotes and conference talks
-
Podcasts and media
-
Interviews and panels
-
Leadership and creative organizations
-
Publishing conversations
-
Thoughtful collaborations