The Misery of Should-Know-Better Moments
Sound familiar?
VENTING . REHASHING . REPEATING . RETREATING
The Language of Blame
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I would have never done that.
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I can’t imagine saying that.
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Who does that?
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Whatever, I don't care.
The Language of Shame
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They know better than that.
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I can’t believe they did that.
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Clearly everyone else knows.
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They don't care.
If yes, It's an SKBC.
THE MOMENT PASSES. THE MISERY DOES NOT.
A Should-Know-Better moment becomes a Should-Know-Better Conflict, an SKBC. That’s misery trying to tell you you have an unmet need you need to let out. SKBC misery indigestion is somatic.
You feel it in your body.
The relief is sensorial. It has to come out as sound, or words. A loss of words. Fear of losing an argument. Fear of losing our shit. Fear of losing the relationship or circumstance.
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Have you been rehashing the same SKBC, with friends or in therapy, for years?
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Are you hoping in time it will pass, like bad gas, but it never goes away?
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Does the misery instantly change the best version of yourself into the worst?
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What if you could like a BURP, release the misery and be able to confidently clear the air without blame or shame?
We are born to know together
DESTINED TO CARE AND PROVE IT
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This is what I know
​When a baby has unmet needs, we respond to their misery alarm with care, because if we don't, they might die. This non-reciprocal care exchange is the reason we grow up expecting people to know better, and care when they should know better.
Instant Misery Relief
"Being BURPED opened my heart and mind to THE question that became the segue into our healing as a family. And, for this, I'll be forever grateful..."
MOTHER OF TWENTY-YEAR-OLD KIDS
Time To BURP.
When somebody Should-Know-Better, and don't, we become like a miserable baby whose body is riddled with a biological sense of misery based on unmet needs for trust and confidence that render us speechless. Unable to tell them what we feel or think for fear of losing an argument, our shit, or a relationship we care about.
BURP flips you from miserable baby-mode to the curious, confident, trusting adult you are born to be and have a Clear-The-Air conversation that reveals what people really care about.
THE BURP PARLEZ SALON
Misery will not be served at
the table.
TELL THEM WITHOUT BLAME OR SHAME
In the style of women-hosted salons where artists and thinkers shared one table, that became the heart of the Enlightenment in the 17th and 18th centuries,
Gretchen Schauffler is hosting:
The BURP Parlez Salon.
90-minute Proof-of-Care Conversations that reinforce, rewire, or release relationships or circumstances in the name of Care-In-Action.