Gretchen
Schauffler
Nº 01 · Fall 2026 · BURP Arrives 11.1.26.
LET'S TALK
Clear the Air. Know Better. Do Better Together.
Clear the Air. Know Better. Do Better Together.
Somebody should have known better.
And didn’t.
Now you’re replaying it, rehashing it, venting about it, or having the conversation over and over in your head without ever actually having it. Because it didn’t sit well.
I call that Should-Know-Better Misery.
And what you feel, misery indigestion.
It is somatic because you feel it in your body. The relief is sensorial because it has to come out as sound, or words.
BURP is the conversation I have been studying, writing about, and practicing since 2008.
A BURP Conversation turns misery indigestion into words, words into relational care, and knowing what to do next. You need to care first, to be care-free to be caring in your life, regardless of what others do or say.
Clear the air. Know better. Do better together.
Knowing From Root To Fruit.
We arrive curious, attracted to the world, dependent on care, and driven to know. Before we have language, other people have to know what we need.
We learn we belong to a world where people know better and care.
Then, somewhere along the way, many of us begin believing adulthood means we know more than others. When they don't, it means they don't care. This becomes a knowing currency that, like coins, has two sides: shame and pride.
We mistake independence for self-actualization, achievement with effort, and treat the top of the pyramid as something we are supposed to earn on our own.
I have come to know that human development works quite differently.
I picture misery across a pyramid, echoing Maslow's hierarchy of needs. At the bottom is true physical misery and suffering. In the middle are people who can afford comfort but still cannot fulfill their dreams or find the love, relationships, or recognition they long for. At the top, prosperity and achievement do not guarantee peace. Otherwise, why are billionaires with the means to have almost anything still going to Burning Man in search of belonging?
There's no peace around a miserable baby.
Or a pyramid full of them.
Their misery calls for care.
Knowing: From Root to Fruit is the architecture beneath BURP: belonging, becoming, and bearing what we know—not as a ladder to climb, but as a living cycle we continue throughout adulthood.
The goal at the top is not a golden life.
It is the Golden Rule: the capacity to care for ourselves, others, and ourselves by knowing together and bearing, beyond our biology, ideas, dreams, relationships, and work that could not exist without one another.
BURP brings a new coming-of-age conversation for adults.
Not about becoming someone else. About continuing to become the human being we were born capable of knowing. The baby we were born to be.
We are human seeds that come with everything we are and need to belong, become, and bear the fruit of our knowing, from root to fruit, being cared for, to have a fecund life that bears reality.
Because no other life form on Earth can.
TALK MENU
BURP:
The Misery of "Should Know Better
We all have at least one moment when somebody should have known better.
Sometimes we carry it for years. This conversation explores the quiet misery created by what goes unsaid: the rehashing, venting, blame, shame, and conversations we have over and over in our heads instead of with each other.
What becomes possible when we stop assuming someone should already know—and start actually knowing together?
Clear the air. Know together. Do better Together. Without blame or shame.
Apple Orange Wisdom:
Different Words Create Different Worlds
Feelings are not needs. Awareness is not understanding. Understanding is not knowing.
Words we treat as interchangeable can create entirely different realities.
The old saying “comparing apples and oranges” offers a new way to understand words through their differences, not only their definitions. Apples and oranges are both fruit. This is right. But words can appear to belong to the same category and still create entirely different outcomes. This is wise.
Different words create different worlds.
Knowing From Root To Fruit:
It's a Baby-Proof World.
We arrive curious. We need to belong before we can become. Before we have words, other people have to know with us.
Then we grow up and somehow begin believing we should already know.
This conversation follows the larger developmental idea beneath my work: belonging, becoming, and bearing what we know—not as a ladder we climb alone, but as something we continue doing together throughout adulthood.
It asks what self-actualization might look like if the destination isn’t independence from one another, but the capacity to care, create, collaborate, and bear more than our biology.
P.S.U. TALK
The Color Of Friendship
AUDIENCES
A good fit for:
Leaders • Entrepreneurs • Designers • Educators • Creatives • Caregivers • Community Builders • Teams • Organizations • Conferences
And anyone interested in what happens when we stop assuming people should already know—and start knowing together.
Available for:
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Keynotes and conference talks
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Podcasts and media
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Interviews and panels
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Leadership and creative organizations
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Publishing conversations
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Thoughtful collaborations