WHO IS DOING THE KNOWING?

Knowing is not the same thing as what I know.

Knowing is what I am attracted to and follow, and what later confirms why I did before I was certain of what I knew. What I know is what I think I am certain of. I am here to share my knowing.

With this in mind, welcome to this Rabbit Trail.

We all hear the words: perspective is not reality. Clearly. But perspective can be real. Real to that person.

So maybe we need to separate the words fact, reality, and perspective instead of using them as though they mean the same thing.

There are fundamental facts we can count on. This is why we have maps. This is why we have GPS. Water boils under certain conditions whether I believe it will or not.

Then there is perspective. Perspective is how you see the water boiling.

An experience gives what you see a lens. That lens becomes a filter through which you look at your own life. Something can be beautiful and amazing to you because of everything you have experienced before it.

So what is real? And what is reality? And how much of either one is perspective?

This is where the trail gets interesting.

The brain has the ability to see patterns, understand patterns, and create patterns. It is attached to a physiology designed to preserve life, help us survive, solve problems, and shut certain systems on or off when something happens.

We identify with that brain. But what's really interesting is that there also seems to be a part of us that can watch the brain doing what it does.

What do we call that? The viewer? The witness? The observer?

I don't know.

But we can notice the brain becoming afraid when we're not in real danger. We can notice anxiety we don't need to have. We can notice a story forming and, sometimes, get enough distance from it to let the brain relax.

So if I can witness my brain doing something, who is doing the witnessing?

And down the rabbit hole we go.

This is one of the reasons people explore meditation, consciousness, psilocybin, spirituality, and all kinds of ways of opening gates and doors. They are trying to understand whether there is something inside us that is more than the brain we identify with.

Some people call that witness divine.

Maybe it is.

But what does that prove?

Does experiencing a witness prove divinity? Maybe.

Does it prove the existence of a particular God who created heaven?

I don't know.

Does it prove that this witness will carry the consciousness of this story, this body, and this perspective after the body is gone?

I don't know that either.

If this witness inhabits this body, then while it is here, it is subject to this body's experiences. This brain. This physiology. This history. This perspective.

So what happens to perspective when the body is gone?

And now we're right back to reality and truth.

Maybe that's the magical piece of the universe that keeps us entertained like hamsters on wheels, mice in mazes, or children with puzzles.

We keep wondering. We keep following patterns. We keep asking what is real.

And somewhere inside all of this is a capacity for creation that allows us to keep playing creator.

Maybe the point isn't to finally win the argument about reality. Maybe part of knowing is being able to recognize that there are facts, there are perspectives, there are stories we build from them, and there are mysteries we still don't know how to name.

Then we share what we see. Someone else shares what they see. Their knowing changes mine. Mine changes theirs.

And suddenly there is something new to know.

Which leads to another question. And another trail.

Who is doing the knowing?

This is my way of sharing my knowing with you.

Gretchen

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Author Note

I came to this work not through therapy or a doctorate, but through a bucket of paint. I didn’t hear a calling, and I wasn’t particularly gifted at art. Color became my vehicle for self-actualization not because I loved decorating, but because using paint colors to make myself feel at home changed how I felt about the world.